🦭🦇 HOLY SKRATCH ATTACK!!! BATSEAL HAS ARRIVED! 💥 (Read background below)

🚨 SECRET PRE-SALE UNLOCKED! 🚨

Somehow, against all odds, you've discovered the secret cave entrance to the BATSEAL LOW-PRICE PRE-SALE!

INTRODUCING… THE BATSEAL!!! 🦇💥 SEND THE SIGNAL!

Half seal. Half superhero. 100% SKRATCH MAYHEM!

Straight outta the twisted universe of DIRT STYLE COMIX, BATSEAL has emerged from the shadows to save your turntables from the forces of boring records!

And he's brought some seriously dangerous kuts with him. 👀

💿 ULTRA-SLIM. LIMITED EDITION. MAXIMUM SKRATCH POWER! IMPORTED STRAIGHT FROM GOTHAM, JAPAN!

These collectible 12-inch weapons of skratch destruction are perfectly balanced for serious kut sessions and ridiculous amounts of fun!

Every chop feels sharper, faster, cleaner… and NASTIER! 👅⚡

🦇 DOUBLE TROUBLE! ALTERNATE LABEL ALERT! 🎭

Ordering TWO OR MORE BATSEALS? You're in for a little extra superhero magic! 💥

Collectors who grab doubles (or more!) will normally receive the ALTERNATE LABEL VERSIONS, whenever available! Early Bats get the secret goodies!

Experience the new skratch gadgets, as well as the familiar deadly skratch weapons! 🦇👀

🦹 THE COLLECTOR'S CURSE!

Funny how these rare little monsters seem to become more valuable every time another vanishes into kut-book history…

POOF! Gone forever! 👀📈💵

📦 SUPERHERO SHIPPING ADVISORY!

For faster delivery, order BATSEAL separately unless you don't mind waiting for your other orders to arrive so everything can ship together.

🌎 INTERNATIONAL SKRATCH HEROES!

⚠️ If you're outside the USA, please include your phone number in your shipping address. Updated customs requirements may require it for international delivery.

💣 WARNING: PRE-SALE PRICE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED!

⚠️ PRE-ORDER NOW! ⚠️

As every full moon rises, so does the price... Because once BATSEAL lands…

KA-BOOOOOOM!!! 💥

The secret low pre-sale price disappears into another dimension!

No secret password. No superhero membership card. Just you, your turntables, and one ridiculously collectible slab of skratch history.

SAME BAT-TURNTABLE. SAME BAT-SKRATCH!

P.S. Keep your superhero senses tingling… (Cover & Label art are not final) some seriously FUN SURPRISES are lurking just around the corner! 👀🎁 

~ Produced by me: Skratchy Seal 🦭

Characters: 

BATSEAL

THE DARK KNIGHT OF THE TURNTABLES

By day, he's a skratch DJ. By night, he's still a skratch DJ, just wearing a superhero costume he found for a gig.

What started as a joke became an obsession. Now he prowls the streets, bringing justice, bass, and devastating skratches to a world that never asked for them.

Superpower: Deadly precision on the turntables.

Weakness: Can't resist a good beat.

THE JOKESTER

THE MOUTH THAT NEVER QUITS

A DJ with a dangerous addiction to hearing himself talk. No joke is too bad, no insult too personal, and no moment too serious for an unnecessary punchline. So good on the tables, he wants to battle everyone.

His greatest weapon isn't violence. It's the inability to shut up.

Superpower: Psychological warfare through nonstop roasting.

Weakness: Complete silence.

THE INCREDIBLE SEAL

ALL MUSCLE. NO MANUAL.

A gym-obsessed mountain of muscle with enough strength to level a building and barely enough brainpower to find the door.

He genuinely wants to help everyone. Unfortunately, his solutions usually cause more destruction than the original problem.

Superpower: Unbelievable strength.

Weakness: Thinking.

CATSEAL

THE COSMIC SKRATCH ASSASSIN

Trained in the afterlife by the greatest skratch masters of another planet, Catseal was deliberately sent to Earth to be reborn.

She remembers nothing of her training or her mission. Yet her hands instinctively perform techniques no living DJ has ever witnessed.

She doesn't know why she's so good, who sent her, or what she's destined to become.

One thing is certain: She will literally skratch your ass off.

Superpower: Otherworldly skratch techniques.

Weakness: Her forgotten past.